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  • Writer's pictureKirsty Macdonald

Who Decides Your Happiness?

Women meditating at sunset |

Happiness can be a fragile thing, but the more we get accustomed to being leaders in our own lives, the more it can hold strong. A deep, underlying, inner joy, on the other hand can live with us as a constant when we learn how to take hold of our own experience of life and steer it with positive intention.

Who Really Decides Your Happiness: You Or Others?

In this life we live, sometimes it is all too easy to hand over your power to others. It's worth taking a moment to understand your proclivity around this. Do you give your power away easily? Is it you or other people who decide how your day will go? Are you taking charge of your experience or drifting dependant on what happens to come your way each day? When you think about it now, which is your tendency. Does it change depending on how busy you are, the season, or who you are around? This is not uncommon at all, but requires attention and practice to make a positive difference.

An Internal or External Locus of Control.

We call each of these polarities having an external, or internal locus of control (ELOC or ILOC). An external locus and whichever way the wind is blowing you are blown too. Internal, and you hold strong no matter what the weather.

Making a Change

If you find that you are often blown off course by external factors, it is worth bringing some attention to how you can make a change to this. This can be done through growing awareness - bringing conscious attention to creating difference - and also through a modality such as Cognitive Hypnotherapy which gets to the heart of the unconscious patterns that can be shifted in order to change the experience.

Here are a few tips for creating a positive experience of your life that belongs to you. More joy and happiness becomes available to you when you do which can really fuel you from a different place as you move through your days.

5 Steps to Guarantee Your Happiness and a Deeper Connection to Joy.

  1. Create a strong morning routine. Yoga, journaling, walking in nature, lighting a candle, meditation, dancing to music, a workout, breathwork - all these and more help you get grounded and centred for your day and are an important step.

  2. Understand you have choices. Actively choose to be a yes for what you are doing, or be a strong and clear no - with love. And remember, if you are not making an active choice, then that is a choice too.

  3. Grow to understand and practice radical self-love. Loving the home you are in is such an important step for bringing a strong internal locus of control into your world. Become your own biggest advocate for spiritual, mental and physical health and make space for this no matter what.

  4. Embrace the concept of 'There's no failure only feedback'. Dare to try and learn from the results. If you can train your system to understand there is no such thing as getting it wrong, you will already be further down the path then you think.

  5. End the day strong also. We light a candle and perhaps some incense and close the day with gratitude. Attune your mind to giving thanks for the day just gone and it will look for the positive things in the day to come tomorrow. You will be rewarded with a greater sense of happiness and joy.

Who Decides Your Happiness? Hopefully you can do more of the time. I would urge you to play with this for yourself and see what changes. And if you would like to know more of how I can help you rest in this internally focussed and happier place for more of the time, just drop me a note here.


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