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  • Writer's pictureKirsty Macdonald

How to Choose Between Two Paths

Depending on your age you may have seen the film 'Sliding Doors' and you may very well know what it is to stand in a moment of time with different possibilities ahead of you. Which choice should be made? Which direction is right? Which path is my path? There are moments in all our lives where we are unsure which path to take, or hesitation as we question if we are following the right one. It can become a time of feeling stuck and frozen, sometimes a little or a lot disconnected to what we perceive is our potential or a possibility for our lives. Maybe a sense of being unfulfilled. Depending on your circumstance, life can feel like it's passing you by whilst you are busy choosing which way to go or what to say yes to.

Sometimes you will just have a feeling in your body or mind that it is time for change. That this place you are in doesn't feel right any more and a decision needs to be made. Sometimes you will just know you are now walking down the wrong path entirely.

Do you know that experience? Have you ever had a clear feeling that you are just going the wrong way and that the right way isn't clear?

I live deeply by that wise inner guidance system now, but it's whisper was far quieter when I was younger, or perhaps I just hadn't learnt to listen or trust it fully. I remember a time when I would awake on dark winters mornings, trudge my way by street light and frost and breathy air through the streets of town and commute on the London Underground to a job that I found unfulfilling at best, and at its worst, pretty soul destroying. It wasn't so much that the job was bad in any way, in fact it was in a world-class organisation, working with incredible people, but just that it didn't make my heart sing and wasn't taking me toward my calling in life. Each day felt like a move away from flow. It felt clunky and stuck and it made me anxious. I've also had a similar experience in letting go of relationships tat were no longer working. Too afraid to make the wrong decision into a life I didn't yet know. And of course there came a moment in both of those situations where that feeling of 'this is wrong' became intolerable. In fact I got quite sick, and had to make changes whether I liked it or not. I was forced to make a decision to live my in a different way.

Which, looking back was a good thing, because here I am today feeling very fulfilled and inspired by what I am here to do.

But decisions can often feel hard to make. All kinds of fears can set in that often keeps us stuck. What is the right thing. What will they think. Will I be ok. Will my family be ok? Will I earn enough? Etc etc.

Of course we can choose a path from the head or the heart. Which is your predominant mode of decision making? My experience now tells me that thought-based decisions will often be a little off course, but that heart-based, intuitive ones are pretty reliable. I have learnt that over time, and witnessed it in hundreds of my clients. That isn't to say that learning and researching isn't a good thing, but just that we can teach ourselves how to be guided from a more intuitive place that doesn't get over analysed and over complicated. It doesn't have to be confusing, but instead can feel like freedom and inspiration and trust and self-belief.

But often we would rather be stuck than get it wrong.

Some questions to ask yourself that will help you walk your path:

Must you get it 'right?

How could you celebrate the mistakes you make as you go? Or even collect more of them?

Must it be good and neat, or could it be messy for now?

Must people agree, or can you be controversial?

Must 'they' like it?

Do you have to know where it leads, or can you be ok with enjoying the journey for now?

How much can you play with life as you go?

If it were more pleasurable to walk the path, what would you see hear, do differently as you go?

Forward action always feels better than stuck-ness.

And anyway, what if there were no 'right' decisions?

What if you could trust that the next thing you are drawn towards is exactly the right adventure for you right now? That whichever path you take it will be exactly what is needed for your life and for the people you love. Possible?

What if that were also possible in the workplace, in relationships, in parenting? No longer sacrificing inspired action to the desire to be right.

How could you play with that a little more than you have until now and enjoy your choice more fully?

Maybe there were never two paths at all.


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