Acknowledging the Difficulties That Can Lead To Freedoms
The whole of you is part of you.
When we try to push away the unwanted parts of ourselves they find a way of springing up in another area - to be known as something else.
Weeds are persistent. They grow through the cracks.
When we try to smoosh down experiences that perhaps we have labeled 'bad' or 'undesirable' we miss the opportunity to work with them. In fact, the things you find difficult about yourself and your personality can be the exact path to evolving.
A successful and fulfilled path forward is not in spite of but because of our difficulties.
As you will know by now, I like to give myself and my clients regular reflection points to work with. And today’s is just this - looking at those places in ourselves that we try to push aside as undesirable or unwanted - the ‘weeds’ in the garden of our lives; The ones that perhaps we label ‘not ok’. These are the places where we lack love for self and compassion for ourselves and perhaps even reject our deeper experience of life. Ironically, (and perhaps one of the reasons our society creates so much serious over-doing), as we have a chance to work with the season of dormancy and embrace a greater stillness, this time of year often begins to show up cracks in the pavement and spaces where the weeds want to be known. In the quiet times stuffed down things begin to show themselves, sometimes creating uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. It can be easy to smoosh these down deeper and label them as undesirable, but actually what presents itself at this time, dealt with well, can plant important self-care seeds for the coming year. Because we live in a world of comparison (we recognise objects and situations as ‘this isn’t that ‘in order to understand them), we all have these places of ourselves that we would like to be different, or better. But better than what? Different to whom? It’s important to look at these as they betray a disowning of parts of ourselves that somewhere along the lines we develop a preference against as part of the whole. But, here’s a contradictory thought for the day: what if it were because of those things, not in spite of them that we become fully realised beings? I’m curious - If you were to embrace that as a concept, how would it shift things for you? And you could try playing with these questions that can be transformational for those who sit with them. First just take a moment pause and reflect.
How would you say you’re doing? What are you focussing on personally and professionally? How do you feel in this moment?
What feelings/emotions do I keep myself away from?
And what stories have a I created about this that if they were to radically change would give me a greater sense of peace and relaxation?
If I were to connect to a greater sense of stillness in this moment, what would I already know about how to do this?
And what does my wisdom already know about what other resources I might need to support me in this? The concept of treasuring the weeds can be a controversial one - who wants to treasure difficult experiences - except when we label them as beautiful wildflowers? And when we do, life really begins to change for the better.
So when you get a minute do try to look at the 'bad' straight on. Invite the 'undesirable' to tea. Enter into a dialogue with these parts of you. Breathe them. Know them. Ask what they want you to know. And perhaps see how they grow differently when they're allowed to 'be'.
p.s. A 'weed' is just a wildflower growing in a place that someone decided wasn't wanted.
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